Sorry, We’re Open


5″ x 7″, paperback

True comic essays about JPCohen’s life behind the counter

For anyone who has dreamed about opening a store or owning a restaurant, this collection of true experiences will answer all your questions from “May I help you?” to “I’m sorry that happened, would you like something else?” It is “I’ve got a big idea” at its funniest.

For anyone who has ever entered a store, dined in a restaurant, or written an online review, this is a self-help customer etiquette handbook. You may never look at your dry cleaner the same way again.



“Hi..Welcome to The Matchbox. I’ll be your server today. My name is…Mrs. Cohen.” Not friendly enough? Maybe. But honest.

In the beginning, I mean years ago in the beginning, I was “Joann, Miss Congeniality” “Joann, Miss No Problem.” That’s over.
No one needs my first name to ask for more ketchup. Not anymore.

It’s not that I want customers to have a bad time. I don’t. My goal is to make the entire retail experience as satisfying as the food. That means satisfying for everyone, and by everyone, I mean me.



J. P. Cohen’s Sorry, We’re Open is an entertaining romp through the front lines of the service industry. Customers frequently want employees to go above and beyond for them and pretend to be happy about it, but what about the workers’ feelings? Cohen uses stories from her time working at the Matchbox Cafe in Rhinebeck, a restaurant she and her husband Sam opened in 2011, to give a comical retelling of the experiences of a restaurant worker, begging to reshape the way Americans think about service workers. Cohen argues for a deeper need to be kind to those serving you, even if they don’t smile.”
Micaela Warren and Kerri Kolensky –

“Hysterical—JPCohen is a hero to anyone who works behind a counter or in any service business. She tells the truth about salesmanship, hospitality, and clientele from her proprietor-eye view. She literally bites the hand that feeds her. Don’t let your customers read this book.”
A Bloomingdale

“I’m thrilled to be adding this little Matchbox book, Sorry, We’re Open, to the Hope Farm Press library. Anyone who’s ever worked with the public knows how demanding and thankless it can be. JP Cohen brilliantly finds the humor in customers that can be oblivious to such behavior. If this book doesn’t open some eyes, Sorry, We’re Open, makes it all worth it!  A MUST READ!”
Kynan McElrath

154 pages

SKU: 9780578267036
Weight 7 oz
Dimensions 5 × 7 × 0.25 in


Book Author

Customer Reviews

1-5 of 2 reviews

  • Richard R.

    I read it right through and laughed out loud many times.. It’s like spending 2 hours at an Off Broadway show. I can’t wait to read it again.

    February 17, 2023
  • Karen J.

    This is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. The author has a way
    with words and people. Can’t wait to see her on stage in 2024!

    May 4, 2023

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